


Think Twice

by jnic84



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jnic84/pseuds/jnic84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there is no fixing what is broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Think Twice

“Make this fast, kid. There’s trouble headed your way,” Clint’s voice warned you as you rushed towards the computer array in Stark’s labs. The archer was keeping watch out for any possible enemies. That is what Tony’s team has become now, the enemy. Considering this was supposed to be a quick in and out gathering of intel, you didn’t really think a lookout was necessary, but Steve had insisted. 

“What kind of trouble?” you asked, keeping your voice low. Scott had been able to get into the security room and disable Friday, preventing the AI from alerting anyone of your intrusion. This move should have bought you at least a few minutes, but it looked like the effort was for nothing.

“One angry redhead,” he grunted. Natasha. Of course it was her. And if you were a betting woman, you’d be willing to wager that Clint was relieved that he wasn’t the one that was going to have to face an unpredictable Black Widow.

“Almost done,” you mumbled, typing in a few final commands and slipping in the USB to start the download. 

“Bad move,” Natasha sighed as she slinked around the corner. She hadn’t bothered to suit up, instead wearing jeans a t-shirt. Maybe it was a subtle hint that she didn’t really want to fight you. But wants didn’t really matter anymore. If the situation called for it, fight you she would. “I wondered when you guys would try to take Stark Tower. It took you a little longer than expected.”

“Nobody is taking Stark Tower,” you countered, moving to shield the USB drive from her view. You had no doubt she knew what you were doing, but you weren’t going to make it easy for her to stop it. “Tony has some information we needed, and we were pretty sure he wasn’t going to be willing to share with the rest of the class.”

“You want the files on Barnes,” she nodded, moving with calculated slowness from the doorway and into the lab. “The notes about HYDRA tech that Stark just got his hands on.”

“Steve needs it to help Bucky, he—”

“Rogers needs to realize this is a fight he can’t win,” Natasha argued bluntly. “And that Bucky might be a lost cause.”

“You don’t know him,” you disagreed with a surprising amount of passion, which made Natasha take note. “He doesn’t have his memories, only bits and pieces, but he’s a good man. He just needs a chance.”

“I do know him,” she purred, her eyes deadly serious. For the first time, you felt like you were no longer speaking with your friend but the emotionless assassin she had been trained to be. “Not that he remembers. And I’m not just talking about our little scuffle where he put a bullet in my side. I’m talking intimately.”

Your jaw clenched and you heard Clint cough awkwardly in your earpiece.

“Maybe ten years back, it only lasted a couple months,” she said flatly. “We were both after the same target and decided it might be more…convenient to work together. The Winter Soldier was inhumanely strong, completely ruthless, and didn’t hesitate to take what he wanted. If a hint of Bucky Barnes existed in him then, I never saw it.”

“Or he never let you see it,” you shook your head in denial. “Steve helps him remember. Sam helps him cope with the trauma. I—”

“You think you love him,” Natasha stopped you with a soft sigh, something resembling pity crossed her face.

Love? You didn’t know if you loved him. How could you? He barely even knew who he was. But in the time since Steve had found his long lost friend, in the months you all had been running from the government and your own friends, Bucky had come to mean a lot to you. It made you smile when you would hear the rare sound of his laughter. You felt a rush of warmth and affection anytime he directed the slightest grin in your direction. No, not love. But something close to it, that exciting, eager feeling that came with the possibility of falling. 

“Trust me when I say this,” Natasha broke into your thoughts with a somber half smile, “loving Bucky Barnes only ends in heartbreak.” 

The computer beeped and put an end to the dismal conversation.

“You can take the files,” the redhead sighed, “I won’t tell Tony you were here.” You nodded, unable to feel much of anything, even gratitude, as you sidestepped the former SHIELD agent and made for the door.

“ (Y/N),” she called before you could turn into the hallway and out of sight, “just remember, some people can’t be fixed.”

_______

 

An hour later found you at Steve’s latest safe house, a comfortable distance from Brooklyn. He had brought you all here in the hopes of rekindling some of Bucky’s memories. He hadn’t had much success so far. 

Walking in the door, you tossed the USB drive into Sam’s waiting hands as Scott and Clint filed in behind you. They were murmuring quietly to one another and you didn’t really care to find out what they were talking about.

Your eyes wandered to Bucky, seated in a slightly tattered armchair and speaking to Steve. They both looked up at your arrival. Steve gave a small smile, one that spoke of relief at your safe return. Bucky didn’t react, just glanced up and after a beat returned his gaze to Steve. His unintended rebuff stung, and Steve’s grin faltered at the flash of melancholy across your face.

“You okay?” he asked gently, about to rise from his seat to surely attempt to comfort you. You waved him off, and gave a tired smile. 

“Long day,” you muttered, unable to resist another quick glance at Bucky. You had his attention this time, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. When he looked at Steve there was the barest look of fondness on his face. Sam could make him laugh, even in his most dour moods. And you only inspired curiosity. 

Maybe Natasha was right. Maybe you needed to leave the loving Bucky to Steve. 

You didn’t regret taking the Captain’s side in this catastrophe. The Accords were wrong. And they were wrong about Bucky. He deserved a real chance at life away from HYDRA. But you were beginning to question the merit of involving your heart in this mess.

You could feel Clint’s eyes boring into the back of your head, but you shrugged off the feeling and headed for the kitchen. You could really use a drink right now.


End file.
